Tuesday, July 18, 2006; finally.

after so long.
for me.
ive finally put sunxiezhi as my dp.
after a hell of a long time.
but now.
i dun count how long ive not seen him.
it doesnt matter anymore does it.
i read todays newpaper.
i read one girl's sentence.
she said.
"i USE TO BE a 5566 fan but i feel liking them is no use.
There are so far away from us." I just read those lines again and
again. And i said in my mind. Everyone's saying the same thing.
Every USE TO BE 56 fan said the same thing, when i ask
why they didnt like 56 anymore. i dun wan to be one of them. but
today i felt. it happened. i suddenly had that bad feeling. that bad
instinct. and i felt guilty. this december. its gonna be four years.
Four years. ever since. i knew 5566. four years. ever since. i knew
the person by the name of sunxiezhi. four years ever since i've
started to listen to chinese music.

and these four years. i knew the real meaning of sacrifice. the true
meaning. these four years. i sacrificed my everything. for them.
my social life. my time. my money. my everything. but. at the end
of these four years. i know deep down in my heart. all these
sacrifices, had been a part of my life. these four years. when i look
around my room. tears roll down my cheek. and i think. all these
stuff in my room. its the stuff that have been my life. my life for four
years. giving it up. is no easy feat. its like something that has been
building up inside me this four years.

but. these were the things. that made me smile. when i was down
when i was in my lowest point in life. i always tend to look up on
them. and told myself. no matter what i know i could do it. i
remembered failing my exams. went home and cried. but when
i look at him. i told myself. there's always another chance to
prove myself. and i did. after all these saying. i know. that i still
love them a lot. after these four years. maybe. from the start
the way i like them. has always been different from what
others think it is.

different. way different.


aishah sun/tegoshi

I'll quit my ramblings XD {Tuesday, July 18, 2006}